Tiny Midgardian

I keep having days that are great until about an hour before I go to bed. Yesterday was great. I went to college and finished the first draft of my personal statement, got some feedback from my tutor, and then got home early. I went over to Ray’s and we went on tumblr, watched videos, and then filmed some stuff for her channel. It was only when I went back home that I got sad.

My little sister is only 12 years old and today she said she thought her thighs were big. It felt like a smack in the face that she would ever think that, and even more so that she associates big with bad at such a young age. Having a mother who has yoyo dieted and struggled with her weight for about 15 years has affected us so much more than I originally thought. Mum laughed it off but I could tell she was genuinely worried.

I wonder how she would react if I ever voiced my thoughts and told her how much I hate my fat thighs, my podgy stomach, my wobbly arms, my wide feet. Would she laugh it off if I told her it was something that made me feel sick to look at? Would she just shrug and tell me to stop being so silly if I told her my body gets me down so bad that I want to die? Would she say the same as everyone else and try to tell me that I’m not fat? Would she get so far as to convince me that it isn’t a lie?